I'm Bored!!!

But too tired to move....

I've made the COMMITMENT..

to stop smoking!! I feel that my upcoming surgery is going to be hard enough on my body and this will not only help my healing process but help for the rest of my life. I will either stop or be stopped by my 52nd birthday, August 27th!! Dr Berne, one of the docs at work, has been teasing but serious that I need to stop and he has committed to helping me along the way with moral support. I'm sure all my family and friends will too!!??! I'm still working out the process, whether I'm going cold turkey or ween off but I will do this. I'm hoping the fact that I've only been smoking for about 10 years will be on my side and make it a little easier.

Beakman's World

It is so much fun watching these shows! Beakman, Josie and the Rat are entertaining and I love the way they interact and explain how things work. I also get to catch Reading Rainbow some weekday mornings...brings back memories of watching it w/ the girls.

I just wrote this like I would write a school paper....yikes!!!!!

I AM LOVED!!

No matter how down and depressed I get, I know that I am loved unconditionally and count my blessings!! Not that I believe I deserve it...Lord knows with what I put my family and friends thru, past and present, I could be disowned and kicked to the curb many times...I'm just very very lucky that way!!

I truly love y'all too and thank you for putting up w/ me!! XOXOXO

Happy Friday!!

Good Thursday!

Had a good day today...slept well last night except for getting up 5 times to pee :p I took a water pill late in the evening because my feet and hands were so swollen and uncomfortable. But I was able to get back to sleep each time and felt rested this morning. I believe it has a lot to do with some closure and a light at the end of the tunnel.
I promised Therapist Jan that I would be off the computer at 10:30pm and I'm late. Homework time got delayed, but now I'm getting off and will sit and relax w/ some tv and crocheting.

Sweet Dreams to all......

Dr Day

Jenn's gyno appt went well but dr D hurt her :( He too deeper cells and a biopy from her cervix to get a more accurate detailed report. He pretty confident that the results (ready in a week) will be good, but of course wants to take all precautions. She likes him and is very confident in his ability, as I am gaining the same confidence in him.
My therapy session went well...a bit on the boring side, which isn't so bad sometimes! She feels some of my sleeping problems are that I'm on the computer too much at night, so I have agreed (VERY RELUCTANTLY) to turn it off at 10:30pm, which would be about 1-1/2 hours before bedtime, and have something w/ calcium in the evening, that this also help promote sleep...we'll see how this goes.
We were than back at dr D's for my. The vaginal ultra-sound showed that my uterus is twice the size it should be, and I have 3 fairly large fibroid tumors (3, 6, & 7 mm), the largest is the size my uterus should be :-o Since we have already exhausted all other options, a hysterectomy is the best treatment. Apparently fibroids are a hard rock-like mass which could be a problem trying to do it vaginally. He will try, it could work since I had such large babies vaginally, but may wind up needing to go thru the abdomen. Recovery time for both is 4-6 wks, with the vaginal more towards 4. Now its a waiting game and trying to figure out when to do it.
I will keep you posted!!

I am a slow learner in LIFE

Sylvia's Daily Message:

Learn to balance your life’s responsibilities. Your world is full of work, home and personal things you must manage. Discover a healthy balance and be grateful for an active life.

Balance...I've always been off...I take on too much or not enough...right now I'm at the too much stage and it's affecting my work and it scares me...part of my too much is taking care of my physical/emotional health, it needs to be done but it's too time consuming...I so badly want to take a month off and take care of everything at once...but that's not realistic....REALITY BITES!!
I have 3 dr appts today and one for Jenn...will let you know what happens.

Having trouble w/ assignment :-o

Business Communication - comparing the differences between interpersonal and business communication with effect of audience, tone, purpose, and content! With specific examples!!???
I got thru the reading while eating my reheated Publix hamburger (which was really quite tasty) - I took a break and took Cedar for a walk - and so far I've only been able to come up with 40 of my 200-300 words needed, and no examples....examples, that should get my word-count up....but I haven't touched on the "interpersonal" aspect yet....
I have until 3am EST to turn it in...maybe a movie and some crocheting will give it all time to roll around my brain a while before finding the right spot w/ the right words....thanks for letting me "talk" it out....as if you had a say - lol ;)

Better Day than Yesterday!

At least there were no tears...but I still didn't sleep worth a flip :/ I think I'm going to take 1/2 a Xanax tonight....
That's really all I have for now...probably more later...off to do homework than crochet while watching tv :)

Frustrated

I couldn't stay awake watching tv last night so Debra gave me one of her sleeping pills in hopes that I would sleep thru the night and went to bed around 10...here it is 2am and too much going thru my head to sleep - a new crochet project that's a donation to raise money for a sick child, school work, MY work, my craft mess and clutter that's all over the living room, my all over my bedroom (including the 1/2 of my bed that I'm not sleeping on) and bathroom, the car pmt that hasn't been made yet because I'm afraid to look at my bank balance, Debra's health and all the weight she continues to loose - the list can go on if I think about it any more...
On a good note, Jenn drove home from work yesterday and she's doing great...her driving test is Aug 16th....
Now I will see what homework I have due tonight...

Sucky Day :p

Not sleeping...so tired at work had to take an early lunch for a nap...then get called into the office because my performance is not up to par...I'm a "valuable employee and don't want to loose me"...if i don't get better physically and emotionally really soon there could be trouble!!!

Good Morning....

Need to make it a good morning...I WILL get in the shower and it will feel good...for some reason I just don't like getting my whole body wet, been taking a lot of whore-baths instead...

LETS MAKE IT A GOOD DAY!!!

What is my world coming to?????

During my break I glued a tile to a frame (pic to come later), walked Cedar, and baked a pear bread...from scratch!! w/ pears from Tina's tree...Armageddan is near.........
I finally got my work done...hope it's worth 50 points!!?? Don't have much school work scheduled for this week, but i'm afraid they may be harder lessons...nothing is due tomorrow (today), so i will try to preview and get started....yeah, right....
Good Night & Schlaf Gut...

Break Time

Getting bleary eyed and hungry - time to take a break from the books. This is a big assignment worth 50 points so I'm taking my time and taking notes before posting anything...then I will go back and write out the real thing...
I love watching little Susie Marie float around in her little ball!!

I did it again...

COOKED....looks like I'm making a habit of this...I made a pork chops & tater tots brunch for Debra and I so she would eat something before work...I really worry about her, she's loosing more weight :/ She see's her Gastro dr this week for a follow-up from her colonoscopy.
Anyway, enough about her....it's "All about me, it's all about I" - lol - but now I don't feel like typing anymore so off to do homework.....

AAARRRGGHHH!!!

I really wanted to sleep more than another 2 hours!! But body had to pee and brain wouldn't shut off!! Things running thru brain that wouldn't let me sleep;
* making muffins, or something, with these wonderful but small hard pears from tina's house
* the friggin' sun being up already
* cleaning my room
* what new crochet projects can i start
* plus some unmentionables...

I'm off to check out what we have in the house that pears can be added to and make some C O F F E E

Sleeping is Overrated

Exhausted and asleep by 10:30pm and up at 2:15am...2 hours later I'm getting sleepy but still not ready for bed...soon tho....